"It’s quite simple. He proves by algebra that Hamlet’s grandson is Shakespeare’s grandfather and that he himself is the ghost of his own father" -- James Joyce, Ulysses.

In Christopher Nolan's Tenet, our Protagonist accuses a character of being a mole. "At every stage, you've known more than you should. I'm asking you one more time. Did you talk?" Ives, a militant time mercenary, butts in: "Nobody talkes. They're running a temporal pincer movement... A pincer movement, but not in space -- in time. Half his team moves forwards through the event -- he monitors them, then attacks from the end, moving backwards. Knowing everything."

I've just finished teaching a summer film workshop to high schoolers. A gig that really ran against the grain of who I am as a person. Not because of the teaching itself; no, I find teaching film especially to be a fulfilling venture. The true pain is having to wake up and sleep at the exact times my body is unwilling to. This is a guy who's spent most of the past few months going to be at 4 in the morning and waking up closer to noon. I was proud of myself for sticking to the schedule, but also felt sick most of that time. Physically, mentally. I'm glad I made rent. Reading Ulysses with my friends for our weekly book club and following Stephen's subversive Hamlet time-and-lineage theory reminded me a bit of Tenet and its conception of time: a malleable toy wherein camaraderie is expressed by tinkering with it.

I wrote a draft blog post on my phone a few days ago. It was almost entirely positive. I felt immense gratitude in my living situation, surrounded by wonderful friends. I felt immense gratitude with the fact that I could currently sustain myself doing entirely film-related things. And I felt immense gratitude that I was experiencing some romantic hope. Although much of this is still true, the person I was seeing I am no longer seeing anymore, and after the workshop the fevered dopamine overflows have died down. Weaving back and forth through time is something I realize I feel on a concrete level. Less "looking back" and more anticipating the repeated moments that I can execute better. Progression through time has become a concept I feel less upset by than when I was a child. I wish to see time progression as a sea, the ability to navigate it in all directions as difficult but not impossible. Attacks. Hamlet. Empire. Temporal Pincer Movement.

I start shooting my thesis film soon. I always worry myself sick before these. Wish me luck.